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Pump Showers
are for Savages
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| "Hey... this one isn't so bad!" |
A year later... let's do it again! That was Magoo's thought process on the
next trip which Keghorn had dubbed "Fear & Loathing in the Dells". The moniker comes from a rip-off of the Hunter S. Thompson
novel (Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas). While Wisconsin Dells has seen its share of moral degradation... it was no "Sin
City" by any means. However, Steve (The Mighty Keghorn) had his doubts on the return to the area.... and he had work, so he
was out.
Magoo, now by his lonesome, was all alone to journey back to the forbidden land of Baraboo.
The camping trip was no longer a group of fun seekers, but a lonely boy trying to relive his college years, which were so
long ago. (Even though he had just graduated in May of 2001)
| Beta Zeta to the rescue! ... |
|
|
| Well... at least two Beta Zetas to the rescue! |
But in the darkest zero hour, another group would forge on ahead with Mags
as he received a phone call right before the trip had started. Alison (affectionately known as Rainbow Brite) and Sara (The
bouncy Rubber Monkey) thought the Beta Zeta culture should be represented as well in the great state of Wisconsin. It took
some heavy convincing by the young women to convince elder members Jen (Carebear of Beta Epsilon) and Chris (Goofy of Beta
Gamma) to attend as well.
Again, Magoo marveled as the next five Sigma Deltas would attempt to discover more secrets
of the great land of Wisconsin. They started their trek up north, carrying along food and strong drink.
As they traveled onward, Magoo told them stories about the last journey and how everyone had
succumbed to the "fear".
Goofy, having learned of the trip from his Big Brother Burns who went on the first one, was
not afraid at all. With a "Yoda-like" stare, Magoo looked at Chris and told him... "You will be.... COUGH!... Sorry... A Chee-toh
was stuck in my throat."
| I love ... S... I... G... M... A... |
|
|
| I love D... E..... L... T.........A...... I just love 'em |
The group arrived in Baraboo and decided to stay at the same parts as they
did last year. Maybe a tradition would start on these holy grounds? When Magoo began to put up his tent, he realized there
was no tent to be found. Only a small "What-a-chair!" in place of his beloved 1976 tent. It turned out that Magoo would be
sleeping in his van.... Balls...
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT IN THERE???"
It seemed that Carebear and Rubber Monkey had succumbed to the fear more quickly then the
prior group. After their initial set-up they had made their way to a small rest area with eight doors nustled in the middle
of the sacred cammpgrounds.
"What is what?" Magoo asked fearing the troop had run up on a squirrel or some other dangerous
form of wildlife.
"THAT!! WHAT IS THAT?!" screamed a horrified Carebear as she looked upon one of lifes most
horrible creations... the pump shower.
"NO! NO! This isn't happening!" cried Rubber Monkey as she wept on the landscaping rock near
the showers.
Yes my friends... pump showers were behind each one of these doors. They were small, compact,
and very, very sandy. Magoo, having been the only traveler to this area from the previous year, tried his best to calm the
two down, but it was too late. As everyone knows, pump showers are for savages (a.k.a. people from Wisconsin) Carebear and
Rubber Monkey ran back to the campsite, and groveled. The only thing that managed to cheer them up would be a good old trip
down the road to Wisconsin Dells.
| Dizzy Dragons... |
|
|
| or Hell on Earth? |
After the initial shock of seeing showers that you actually had to pump to
get water out of them, Carebear and Rubber Monkey calmed down. The first step was to try and have some fun, so the group headed
toward RIVERVIEW PARK and WATERWORLD. It had go-karts... and go-karts are quite awesome. Carebear and Rubber Monkey however
vanished on the fairgrounds, leaving just Magoo, RB and Goofy to roam by themselves. Magoo suggested that they all should
try some hot kart action, but Goofy wanted to eat.
So they did, and Magoo grew angrier at the fact that he would have to wait to
run into ten year old kids at 15mph! As revenge, right after Goofy finished eating, Magoo suggested the "Dizzy Dragon"
ride as their next stop.
"I dunno man... my stomach hurts" Goofy stated, but
RB and Magoo just kept pushing him toward the horrible green monsters. To make a long story
short, Goofy vomited his lunch all over and the Riverview Park personnel made him clean it up. Magoo and RB watched
by the side of the entrance line.
Goofy too... had succumbed to the "fear".
Well, that..., and Magoo is an ass.
Then it happened again...
That blur. The unexpected blur that only happens in Baraboo. The final day rolled around and
with the exception of raunchy "OLDE TIME" photos in bathtubs and the smell of Goofy's chunks all over, it was a fairly decnt
journey back to the sacred grounds. But Caebear and Rubber Monkey, as others did from the previous year, vowed never to return
to the god-forsaken hell hole of Wisconsin Dells. (Is hell hole one word or two?) But the future was not all grim. Magoo found
that Rainbow Brite would forge on with him next year, and Goofy, despite having left parts of himself behind, decided that
he too, would come back and confront his "fear".
Who would be the next explorers? Who would be the next to eat BBQ charbroiled tubesteaks for
4 straight days? Only time would tell.
F&L II - Statistics
Attendance: 5 Members (In Order of Seniority then Name)
Nicholas "Magoo" Prohl - Alpha
Omega
Chris "Goofy" Payne - Beta Gamma
Jen "Carebear" Kosowski -
Beta Epsilon
Sara "Rubber Monkey" Cwikla - Beta Zeta
Alison "Rainbow Brite" Oprzedek - Beta
Zeta
TC COTU: N/A
(Well... Not exactly. Nick did play Chris for COTU, but Chris is tremendously
lame and they only played 2 games where Nick totally opened up a can of whup ass. It doesn't count because Chris is soooooo
horrible)
LANDMARKS CONSTRUCTED: N/A
FUN FACTS:
- So far this is the only F&L trip that SD members saw a live country
singer...
it... was... horrible
- Sara "Rubber Monkey" Cwikla must have had so much fun, she decided to lock
her key sin her trunk, prompting a call to triple AAA. Unfortunately they were out of beer, and everyone was mad at Sara.
- First ever Turbo Cups Match played at F&L was between Chris
Payne and Nick Prohl
____________________
| Where the action happens! |
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| ALPHA OMEGA MOBILE II |
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